When your relationship is new, every day seems to be filled with happiness and excitement. The prospect of seeing your significant other soon gets you all giddy because you’ll have yet another opportunity to spend time with him, learn more about his personality, likes, dislikes, and passions, and basically learn everything you possibly can about him as you go through the days gathering experiences and creating memories together.
Fast-forward several years into the future, and if the relationship has gone quite well, it’s highly likely that you are now married and living together. And now, you realize that you do know about as much as you possibly can about your partner — and it doesn’t exactly inspire the dreamy, bathed-in-warm-sunshine feeling you had expected it to make you feel. If anything, feeling like you have nothing left to discover and explore in your relationship with your partner has made the time you spend together less romantic because routine and familiarity have made things dull.
This isn’t a rare thing when it comes to relationships. After years of living in the same space, sharing household chores, taking on financial responsibilities, perhaps looking after a child or two, and handling all kinds of practical matters, romance can take a backseat to more pressing things. And knowing your partner inside out — both positive qualities and bad — can often lead to resentment and frustrations instead of the intense intimacy from the earlier years.
Here are some tips to keep the relationship fresh and romantic, much like in the beginning:
Keep the communication lines open. Both of you may be more concerned about your kid’s medical checkup or the mortgage now instead of which movie you’re going to see during the weekend, but always make sure to engage in conversation instead of focusing only on your tasks.
Don’t dwell on each other’s negative sides. Being together every day means you both know each other’s bad habits, irrational fears, and unsavory traits. Don’t pick on these or make fun of them, especially during tense situations. Talk about compromising and helping each other work through your issues.
Make time for each other. Always set aside a day or two each week to go out or do something that you would enjoy together. This helps remind you both of your love for each other and that it’s all right to be silly and have fun together just like the old times.